A World Without Allergies

I was working out with my trainer today, and she was complaining about her seasonal allergies. “They’re such a nuisance,” she said. “And all of these pumpkin festivals aren’t helping. I was allergy free until my 30s.”

This gave me pause because I did not develop seasonal allergies until I moved from Houston to Austin for college. I can barely remember the days that I could run around outside, roll in the hay, and pick wildflowers with absolutely no consequences. Now I develop itchy eyes and can’t stop sneezing. Sometimes the symptoms feel debilitating.

Instead of basking in my sorrow of lost youth, I decided to partake in some healthy meditation. I wanted to take a vacation from my reality and imagine a life in fall festival heaven – without a care in the allergen world. How would I spend the day if allergies didn’t exist?

First of all, I’d eat and drink everything. In my allergy free world, calories don’t count either. I will have that margarita (or 3), and the mix will not make my tongue swell up with little bumps. (Yep, that happens.) I’ll eat the saltiest of foods that bloat me up, because bloating isn’t real in this world, and dairy does not upset your stomach. As a matter of fact, cheese is good for you!

Because I love animals, I’ll hug that sheep and pet that horse. Look at me feeding celery to this pig! (Do pigs eat celery?) These animals are adorable and hypoallergenic, and we’re all having a great time. Before I can wash my hands, I get an eyelash out of my eye with my finger. I can do that here.

As the sun begins to set, a light breeze wafts through the festival. A nearby patch of dandelions  release their seeds into the air. The crowd oohs and aahs because NONE OF US HAVE ALLERGIES!

For the remainder of the evening, we all drink adult beverages and dance to live country music. Jack has had too much, so Shawn has to take him home early. We all laugh. Jack can never keep it together.

Achoo! I wake myself up from my meditative state. It was a great vacation, but I know that it’s not realistic. All I can do now to alleviate my discomfort is to proactively take my meds and wash my hands like a heart surgeon. Until next time, I highly recommend that you take your own mental vacation to a perfect world, where allergies are unknown, and pigs eat celery.

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