Anything Goes

Have you noticed that more people are sneezing and itching these days? It’s to be expected. The weather is warmer, flowers are blooming, and pets are shedding. Stuff gets into our nose and eyes, so of course our body will react.

Unfortunately, some people are allergic to things that you and I take for granted. Can you imagine being allergic to your cell phone? Yep, that’s a thing. Electronics that contain nickel or cobalt can cause rashes. No more Candy Crush for you.

I have a friend who is allergic to alcohol. To me, that’s a personal hell, but if she even has a sip, she breaks out into hives all over her body. If she were to drink a whole neck of a beer, she throws up. She has no substance abuse problems at all, but she can’t enjoy a Friday night spirit. Why is the world so damn cruel?

Actually, I think the most brutal thing you could be allergic to is water. You read that right – the foundation to life itself. Someone is allergic to it. It’s called Aquagenic urticaria, and if you suffer from it, you know that the moment your skin touches water, you break out into hives. Shower? Nope. Take a swim? Ain’t happening. And your dreams to becoming a champion water skier are as dead as you will be if you don’t get OUT OF THE WATER.

Here’s an abbreviated list of some other crazy things people are allergic to, accompanied by my thoughts on how unfair life can be sometimes.

  • Glitter: Because, apparently, we can’t have nice things.
  • Exercise and Sweat: Maybe not a bad thing?
  • Leather: Step away from the Louis Vuitton counter.
  • Reptiles: I’m OK with this one.
  • Meat: This will not go over well in the Lone Star State.
  • Chocolate: Oh, for the love of Pete!

I could go on and on with more random things we could be allergic to, like pancakes, but I won’t because it’s Friday. Let’s just do a solid for those that are not able. Drink a beer while sweating, eating BBQ, and petting a lizard. It’s the right thing to do.


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